To care for anyone with Alzheimer you must have a strong resolve. There are ups & downs, good days and very bad days. Some nights will be fine, others will be torturous, if you are going to take the role on you need to be prepared for this and lots of unpredictability.
You are advised to check out a super place where as a Carer you’ll get plenty of support, the website is fantastic, shows people laughing & joking in pleasant surroundings.
You email them there’s no response, You try again still no response, You call them leave messages and again no response.
So much for the principal support available in the borough you live.
Some months ago an elderly relative’s ability to do normal every day functions deteriorated. At first it was gradual and gentle reminders were all that were needed. Now we are at the stage where many times a day the same reminders have to be given. There’s also an effect called Sun Downing that causes even greater confusion after dark, which is why longer daylight and shorter dark nights are always welcomed.
In addition to that there is pain as the same relative has arthritis and sciatica neither of which has a cure or a sustained method of minimising the pain, instead it’s a daily battle as to whether they can get out of bed and walk even a little , walking a lot is gradually going away. At times you wonder if the G.P really has any idea as medication is reviewed and changed yet the pain doesn’t subside.
Everyday is different, some are hassle and stress free, others are exhausting, especially as said relative insists no Carers are needed and they can manage on their own yet they can’t live on their own.
Then there is the stress of making sure that it doesn’t matter how many times they ask the same question , a gentle calm response is given and tempers aren’t lost.
Additionally in the UK if you have worked hard all your life and put away for your retirement that money must be used to fund any care you need once you are over the savings threshold for the family Carers to get a day out and a well earned break.
On top of all that you then have those who don’t understand or accept that the relative who is giving the care can’t get out at anytime they like and have to plan their own activities to suit. They can no longer be spontaneous with their own plans as they are depended upon so much.
After my previous post I had a life changing experience and ended up in Critical Care for 8 Days. Whilst I am grateful to those who stepped in to help , I wasn’t prepared for the mess that I came home to.
I had very few visitors during my stay, something that I’ll never forget as I have always been there for others , yet so few were there for me. Even messages on Social Media didn’t achieve more visitors as I slowly went stir crazy in there.
If you have friends do reach out to them, not everything is always as it seems, some of us absorb everything and talk about nothing , therefore bottling it all up. Hopefully I am turning a corner and realising I cannot and should not do it alone.
So at the weekend the Mother had an accident and fractured a bone between the elbow and shoulder.
She was taken by car to A&E on Sunday morning where she stayed for 3 days as there were no beds anywhere, the one they were going to put her in was most unsuitable.
I take my hats off to the Nurses the ratio to Nurses and Patients was alarming and if it hadn’t been for Families rallying round to assist it would be total melt down.
Our Health Service is the best in the world it just needs to medical staff and less admin staff to function
I don’t do woe is me posts , I do my best to always be happy and get on with it. However even I have to question why with 713 alleged friends on FB and 129 followers I never get hear from so few , let alone get asked to do anything.
Once you are no longer in a position of authority its amazing how quickly your popularity sinks. never mind I’ll continue to go shoot some photos on my own or do my own thing on my own, after all its my destiny.
I have a new camera, I treated myself for a recent Birthday, It’s not the latest model but it is my first DSLR and so far I have had great fun with it. I have yet to shoot Sunsets which are my favourite , something I hope to do soon.
I didnt realise though just how big DSLR JPEGs are as each photo is a min of 8meg. It’s a learning curve that is keeping me sane.